SESPIT - dealing with problem data.

Does your data look like this?

But you'd like it to look like this?


Are your results significant at the 80% confidence level, ensuring no grants, papers or glory? But you'd like them to be significant at the 95% confidence level, ensuring adoration, conferences and employment?

Yes, you need SESPIT - the Silk Ear Sows's Purse Interpolation Technique. This statistical software takes the data you're stuck with and turns it into the results you can normally only dream about.

Remember, if your data is a load of crap, put it in the SESPIT.

Allegedly similar to techniques used by every Big Pharma study identified in Ben Goldacre's Bad Science Column, SESPIT would have been corrupting data since since 1989, if I'd ever got round to actually writing it.

(Dedicated to the CAMSCAT group, in the Physiological Ecology group at the Botany Deptartment, Cambridge and SPRI, 1988-1993).